Arthur: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
by Maestus
Summary: Congratulations! You are now the proud and happy owner of your own KING ARTHUR unit! To ensure you get optimum performance and to be granted years of drooling over your ARTHUR, read the following information very carefully and UNITS incorporated guarantees that you won't be disappointed!


**So here we go, the ARTHUR owner's guide as promised! Please enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: Merlin belongs to the BBC. Unfortunately.**

**The original Owner's Guide belongs to Theresa Green. It first appeared in the LOTR fandom, but many others have used the original template in other fandoms for other characters.**

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**KING ARTHUR: THE OWNER'S GUIDE AND MAINTAINENCE MANUAL**

Congratulations! You are now the proud and happy owner of your own KING ARTHUR unit! To ensure you get optimum performance and to be granted years of drooling over your ARTHUR, read the following information very carefully and UNITS incorporated guarantees that you won't be disappointed!

**INSTALLATION**

Upon receiving your ARTHUR unit, for optimal performance do not immediately set to work. Failure to comply may result in an outburst of temper tantrums, sarcasm or extended periods of whinging from your ARTHUR unit; UNITS incorporated is not responsible for any damaged egos that may result.

Your ARTHUR unit should arrive fully assembled and charged. Please check that you have all his accessories (see below) and that you have been issued with the correct edition of the ARTHUR unit.

ARTHUR 1.0 (copyright Geoffrey of Monmouth 1136)

b) ARTHUR 2.0 (copyright Julian Jones, Jake Michie, Johnny Capps, Julian Murphy and Bradley James)

**Note:** This Owner's Manual refers to ARTHUR 2.0, the more lifelike model who closely resembles Bradley James

**TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS**

Name: Arthur Pendragon

Sex: Male

Status: King of Camelot

Age: 28

Height: 6'

Weight: Insuficiant Data

Manufacturers: Ygraine and Uther Pendragon

**YOUR ARTHUR UNIT COMES WITH THE FOLLOWING ACCESSORIES**

5x Undergarments

5x Tunics

2x Capes

1x Ceremonial Robes

1x Suit of Armour

1x Shield

1x Sword*

*PLEASE NOTE EXCALIBUR IS **NOT **INCLUDED  
Depending on the conditions your ARTHUR unit dealt with upon shipment to your address, you might notice that he is in a rather bad mood. The unit is not damaged, he's just sulking because they don't have First Class postal vans designed with kings in mind.

**GETTING STARTED**

Remove your ARTHUR unit from his packaging, ensuring that there are no nearby weapons as it is possible he may mistake you for an enemy. It may be necessary for you to purchase other units depending on the condition of your ARTHUR unit. For example if your ARTHUR unit has been damaged by a QUESTING BEAST unit, it may be necessary to purchase a MERLIN unit and a NIMUEH unit in order to save your ARTHUR unit.

**PROGRAMMING**

Your ARTHUR unit comes with a delightful number of settings. However, we do not recommend that you use him for any form of housework or, really, any task other than hunting or sword-fighting that involves doing something constructive. He will revert to Egoistical Prince mode and tell you that servants are there for a reason.

**Friendly Prat (DEFAULT**): Very easy mode to maintain and the recommended setting for your ARTHUR unit. Just keep him supplied with food, opponents and game to hunt and he will prove to be enjoyable company, though still a prat.

**Just and Merciful King**: Activated usually in moral situations, usually always in standby mode and ready to start up without prompting

**Kill-All-The-Enemies**! : activated in the presence of, as the title says, enemies. Involves lots of angry expressions, hollering and sword swinging. Keep a distant and enjoy the sight of your ARTHUR unit working up a good sweat.

**Extreme Prat (AKA: I'm King and I Know it)**: Worse than normal prat mode. Try to avoid though this may proof impossible if your ARTHUR unit is in a pissy mood and in proximity of a MERLIN unit. Please note that your ARTHUR unit will also revert to this mode when in the presence of an injured/moping/depressed MERLIN unit but only because he secretly cares.

**Love-struck Fool (LOCKED):** Only unlocked in the presence of a GUINEVERE unit, EVIL ENCHANTRESS *INSERT APPROPRIATE NAME HERE* unit or, if in Slash mode, a MERLIN unit. In this mode, your ARTHUR unit will most likely act incredibly stupid, do things he normally would never dream of doing and generally spout a load of gibberish. A whack about the head should sort this out, though in some cases the purchase of a MERLIN unit may be required.

**Simpleton (LOCKED)**: Very difficult setting to unlock, requiring a MERLIN unit, a CAMELOT play-set, a MORGANA unit and numerous NAMELESS GOON + SMUGGLER units.

**CARING FOR YOUR ARTHUR UNIT**

**CLEANING**

Your ARTHUR unit is **not**self cleaning, this being one of the things that Kings are apparently incapable of doing. For optimum performance of your ARTHUR unit, it is recommended that you fill a metal tub with water boiled over an open fire, strip your ARTHUR unit and then lather him thoroughly with soap until clean. Or you could just get a MERLIN unit to force your ARTHUR unit to clean himself.

**FEEDING**

It is widely accepted that your ARTHUR unit will eat anything put in front of him as long as it is of a standard fit for a king. UNITS incorporated is not responsible for any egos damaged by the insulting of cookery skills.

**REST**

Your ARTHUR unit requires the daily recommended dosage of sleep, though would very much like it if you left him to sleep him. When waking your ARTHUR unit, take care to avoid any hurled bedding, cups or other nearby objects

**SECURITY**

Thanks to the popularity of the ARTHUR unit (especially version 2.0), it essential that you observe the following security procedures for the safekeeping of your King.

* Have your ARTHUR unit micro-chipped. Choose a doctor or physician experienced with arrogant prattish Kings who don't particularly like being ordered about. It might be a wise idea to sedate your ARTHUR unit before he undergoes the procedure.

* Do not leave your ARTHUR unit unattended in public. Fangirls will appear to feed his already over-inflated ego and then you will be in trouble. Purchase of a MERLIN unit will be immediately required to deflate this ego.

* Do not lend your ARTHUR unit to anyone as he has a tendency to wonder off and start fights

**FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS**

I've heard that my ARTHUR unit has a Slash mode; how do I unlock this?

Unlocking your ARTHUR unit's Slash mode is a tricky operation but not impossible. It requires a lot of fangirl dedication, the presence of either a MERLIN unit, a GWAINE unit or a LANCELOT unit and mountains of patience. It is unknown if it is possible to revert your ARTHUR unit back to HET mode after Slash mode has been activated.

My ARTHUR unit has been in Extreme Prat mode for over a week now and will not stop. What am I supposed to do?

Remove your ARTHUR unit from the presence of any and all nearby MERLIN units. Alternatively, purchase a GWAINE unit and send them on their merry way to the nearest tavern or pub.

My ARTHUR unit is being unnaturally nice and is actually being mindful of my feelings; is there something wrong?

It seems your ARTHUR unit's motherboard has been replaced with that of a MERLIN unit! Either that or a spell has went wrong and your ARTHUR unit and a nearby MERLIN unit have undergone a personality transplant. Please report to your nearest UNITS incorporated headquarters to resolve this issue.

**ADDITIONAL INFO**

For any additional information or questions, please visit your nearest review box immediately


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